just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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