happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize