For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
