You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
