my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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