Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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