Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize