Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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