Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Send help, water and tortillas.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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