She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
