So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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