google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No...this little piggys going to the bar
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
