I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He passed out mid-signature
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
