You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
