Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
