Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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