You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i came on her dog
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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