Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize