How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize