in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
