his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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