Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
