Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
