I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
