he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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