the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
