someone threw a dead crab at me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
