I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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