She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
