We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
