There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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