I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so let's talk penis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
