No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
