its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize