I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
