i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
