What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
