She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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