Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
