those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just google imaged poop.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
