This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
