so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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