I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
