His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
