i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
