Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
