conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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