I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
