That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Someone came in the potted fern
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
