I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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