He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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