Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
