the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
