Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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