I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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