She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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