Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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