I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize