Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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