Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
