I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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