does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
