I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
