"it" just moved
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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